Weaker Days
by BettyLovesCupcakes
Summary: After what happened in New York, Natasha finds solace in a friendship with Bruce. However, Loki isn't willing to let her live her life and an obsession soon grows, at the realisation of how similar they really are... R
1. Chapter 1

**WEAKER DAYS.**

**So, this may be multi chapter dependent on reviews.**

**Months after the events in New York, Natasha is struggling to juggle a secret friendship with Bruce whilst being hunted by Loki in her dreams. Problem is, some dreams become a reality... Natasha/Loki.**

**Read, Review & Enjoy :)**

**CHAPTER ONE**

_"Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? Drakov's daughter, Sao Paulo, the hospital fire?... Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's GUSHING red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer... PATHETIC! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away!... I won't touch Barton. Not until I make him kill you! Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear! And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I'll split his skull! This is MY bargain, you mewling quim!"_

Loki's words echoed through Natasha's head, bringing back to life the feeling of fear that she wished she could bury. She took her leg off Clint's chair and swiftly got up from the table where the rest of the Avengers were eating and she walked towards the door, stepping over the scattered debris. The battle which they had fought earlier seeming like a distant memory. She walked out of the door and leaned against the wall outside, breathing deeply, taking in a lungful of fresh air, as if it would make all of her thoughts disappear. She looked up at the sky, her mind still struggling to accept what had happened: Gods, aliens and god knows what else was out there. But there was still one thing that bugged her. One thing which threatened to break down the strong interior walls which she had spent so long building - _him. _She closed her eyes, remembering the look in his eyes before the _other _guy took over. The juxtaposition between the two being that of two ends of a spectrum. Bruce Banner - calm, polite and non violent. The other guy? The total opposite. The fact, at the end of the day, was that if Thor didn't turn up at that precise moment she would have been dead. Natasha scoffed, _The Black Widow, _she thought sarcastically. She wasn't supposed to let something like The Hulk affect her so much, but she knew that there was more to it. Her and Bruce were a lot more alike than she would care to admit. They both had that other side of them. With Bruce it was the other guy and with her... It was who she was before Clint spared her life. A murderer. A cold blooded killer.

"Are you, er, okay?" A soft male voice asked and Natasha inadvertently tensed up knowing who that voice belonged to. The awkward yet polite tone. She opened her eyes and glanced sideways at him.

"Yes - Just getting fresh air." She huskily replied, refusing to meet his eyes.

Bruce nodded, scratching his hair, looking sheepishly around the deserted street. "It's going to take forever to clean this mess up." He commented. Natasha stayed silent, wishing for him to go and leave her alone with her thoughts. He sighed, slightly, leaning against the wall next to her, putting his hands in his pockets. "I've been meaning to talk to you..."

"About?" Natasha coldly asked, keeping her eyes diverted ahead. She didn't know why this was affecting her so much. She had faced death in the eye before and it never played on her mind for so long. But then again, before she wasn't afraid of dying. Now - it was the total opposite.

Bruce inhaled deeply. "Um...about, well, what happened."

Natasha sniggered lightly. "A lot of things have just happened, Doctor. You need to be a lot more specific."

He chuckled slightly, looking up at the sky. "Yeah... About what happened on the hellicarrier - With The other guy."

Natasha tensed up and she turned to face him. "It's fine." She dismissively said, going to walk back in, but he lightly placed his hand on her arm making her halt to a stop and look at his hand. The simple movement, strangely affecting her.

"No, it's not - I can tell, Natasha. I,er, I know what it's like... Living in constant fear." He explained, speaking in a low tone, being totally honest with her. Natasha frowned, not moving from the spot, as if her feet were rooted to the floor. The silence seemed to last forever, a tense atmosphere between them. The unspoken truth which neither of them needed to say because they both knew they thought the same thing. They both tried to not show their weak side, tears were for the weaker days.

"Bruce... Stop trying to be my friend. We work on the same team and that's it - we're teammates, not friends. I don't need any friends and I do not need you trying to be a Doctor that you're not to me, okay?" Natasha said, keeping her eyes on him, wanting to say everything that worried her. She felt like she could confide in him and he would understand, but she couldn't. Loki had been plaguing her dreams nonstop since she first laid eyes on him and she knew, she just _knew _that it wasn't over just yet. Not like that. She had to be strong, she would just wait it out. He nodded slightly, clearly taken aback by her words. "I'm going back in." She concluded, walking past him, feeling her heart pumping fast, her emotions confusing her. Now, wasn't the time to confide in everything and let her walls come crumbling down. Natasha put on her well practised poker face and made her way back into the restaurant. She glanced over at the mirror and halted in her steps, turning around swiftly, her hand on her gun ready. Her eyes scanned the area looking but saw nothing. Natasha frowned, when she looked at the mirror she saw _him. _Loki. Even straight after the battle, when they knew that he wouldn't be around she was still haunted by him and somehow she knew, that this wouldn't be the last that she saw of him.


	2. Chapter 2

**WEAKER DAYS.**

**Thank you all very much for the reviews, favourites and follows (y)**

**Loki makes an appearance in this chapter :o**

**There is also a subtle mention to Agents of SHIELD (see if you can spot it :) )**

**Please do leave reviews as they are super motivating :D**

**Read, Review & Enjoy :)**

**CHAPTER TWO**

_**THREE MONTHS LATER...**_

Natasha sighed silently, taking a sip of the strong coffee that Bruce had just made - no sugar, no milk. This wasn't a one off meeting nor was it a chance encounter. She had knocked on his flat door with the purpose of having a coffee and talking to him - honestly. A privilege she had been denied for a long time. She still talked to Clint, but she needed somebody to talk to about Loki - and Clint was the _last _person she would dream of doing so with. He was still bugged about Loki using him and making him hurt people on his own team. Natasha frowned slightly, her fiery hair now grown slightly longer framing her face. She guessed that Bruce was her friend. That word was foreign. Friend. Like a normal person. He was the only person she could talk to about her recurring nightmares about Loki. The first few times was nothing new to Natasha, but the fear and intensity had grown, as did her concern that they were perhaps _more _than bad dreams.

"I think that Loki is screwing with my head and I'm letting him." Natasha said, finally speaking up. She glanced over at Bruce who sat opposite her, scattered paperwork messily shoved to the side on his coffee table, numerous scientific equations scrawled on them.

"He's in Asgard, it's fundamentally impossible." He replied, his heavy bags beneath his eyes matching hers. Lack of sleep was just one of the similarities between them.

"Nothings impossible, Doctor." Natasha replied. She always referred to him as Doctor when making a serious point, a habit that she attained. "You of all people should know that." She quickly concluded. She let out a sigh, audibly this time, gazing round his apartment. "These flats aren't half bad."

"SHIELD gave you a similar one." He deducted, reaching towards the plate of sliced carrots he had laid out and dipping it into the humus. Natasha had briefly mentioned that as her favourite snack a while back and Bruce took note, always making sure it was available for whenever she decided to turn up.

"One bedroom, same layout. It's a roof over my head and a mattress, I appreciate the little things." Natasha explained, her voice sounding colder. Another trait which Bruce noticed, the moment that she came close to revealing a detail in her past she instantly grew cold.

"Why are you so guarded?" He asked, sounding rather blunt. " I have to ask, it's a, er, a little bit frustrating." He added apologetically.

"Aren't you?" She retorted, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yes, but you know why."

"As do you... "

Bruce squinted his eyes towards her. "Something else is bothering you."

"Yes, something is going on at SHIELD and whatever it is, is a higher level. They say there isn't a higher level than 6, but I'm not _durak_." She said, her native Russian slipping through.

"Well, from everything that I've learned, it's that SHIELD will _always _have secrets. Their secrets have secrets." He mentioned, chuckling a little. "How's Barton?"

"Fine. That's what he says - I know different." Natasha grabbed a handful of carrots and started biting on them, her eyes avoiding Bruce. "He's like a brother to me."

"It must be nice to have that. One person that you care for." Bruce commented.

Natasha knew fine well who he was referring to. "Have you tried talking to Betty?"

"It's been nearly two years-"

"-and that doesn't mean anything. If she ever loved you, she would talk to you. Forget the other guy, that... that is a part of you. It's who you are."

"See? Why can't you have that mindset with yourself?" Bruce questioned.

Natasha stood up, heading towards the door. It always ended like this, their little meetings. The moment came when she could open up to him and she would go. "Because, Doctor, you didn't choose to kill innocent people... I did." She opened the door and stepped out. "I'll be in touch." She said, before closing the door and heading down the stairs, leaving Bruce sitting on the couch, feeling slightly overwhelmed by her perplexing behaviour.

Natasha walked down the busy New York street, Stark's tower visible in the distance. SHIELD had assigned them all to their own flats within walking distance of both each other and the Stark Tower. She mentally cursed herself, she was lucky to even have Bruce as a friend and she was just screwing around. She decided that if she was going to be a friend to him, she had to be honest and open, not freak out whenever she mentions her past. She tells him the same thing, so why can't she do the same?

Natasha suddenly froze catching sight of someone sitting in a chair outside of a cafe. She turned around and looked at him, every possible scenario running through her head. _Don't freak out, Don't kill him - protocol. _

"Take a seat, Natalia." Loki said, grinning widely at her. A cup of coffee was on the table and he was dressed in civilian clothing, casual jeans and a shirt. Nothing out of the ordinary and nothing to make any of the bustling people stop and stare.

Natasha kept her hand on her gun, ready to fire, despite the numerous people around. She reached up to her communicator. "Loki is in New York!" She said furiously, frowning at the silence on the opposite end. "Does anybody copy?"

"No they would not, neither would they see me on the camera." He slowly said.

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him, after all the nightmares and sleepless nights, this could just be an optical illusion. "Why would I sit down if I'll look like a crazy person?"

"Excuse me, Miss." Loki said to a pretty brunette passing by. She stopped and smiled politely at Loki. "Do you have the current time on you, please?"

"Erm..." She said, taking out her phone from her bag. "Five thirty."

"Thank you very kindly." Loki replied, the brunette smiled back and carried on walking.

"Why would I talk to you?" Natasha asked, wanting to know what damage he would cause if she refused. He could kill many of the passersby or simply walk away. She needed to know what could potentially be caused. She knew that he was real, he was there in front of her.

"Because I shall set free the monster if you do not."

Natasha clenched her jaw. So he knew. He _had _been screwing with her head, he _had _been causing the bad dreams and now he was threatening to use Bruce as his toy, just as he did with Clint. Natasha held her head up high and confidently sat down, looking him square in the eyes. She placed on arm on the table and kept her other hand on her gun. "Talk."


	3. Chapter 3

**WEAKER DAYS.**

**First and foremost, apologies for the delay, there has been a LOT going on right now and it's been very stressful, on top of that I have been working nonstop as well. :p**

**IMPORTANT NOTE: This fanfiction is going to take place AFTER Thor: The Dark World, so there is a very subtle reference to the film, so if you haven't seen it - beware of spoilers (which won't be apparent for a couple of chapters, so this chapter is spoiler-free (y) )**

**Please do leave a review - they are most helpful and motivating - it lets me know that you guys (the readers) are liking this :D**

**Read, Review & Enjoy**

**CHAPTER THREE**

_**ELEVEN WEEKS BEFORE...**_

_"Miss. Romanoff?"_

_Natasha turned around, internally cursing when she saw Bruce standing there. Sometimes, she wished he wasn't so damn polite, it would make it easier for her to be cold to him. "Mm?" She casually replied. _

_He quickly smiled at her, taking a step back and leaning against the wall, observing his hands. "Did you want to, er, go for, I don't know-"_

_Natasha raised an eyebrow at him, finishing his sentence. "-A coffee?" _

_"As friends." He quickly commented, clearly not wanting her to get the wrong idea. _

_She frowned slightly, narrowing her eyes at him. Friends wasn't a concept that she was familiar with - she went everywhere by herself, even on her days off. "Friends?" She repeated, the word sounding like some foreign language to her. _

_"I know, it's hard to believe that we can have friends, isn't it?"_

_Natasha raised an eyebrow at him, slightly taken aback at how he had the same thought process as her. "Why do you want to be friends with me? We're team mates, a part of the same team."_

_"Well, for one, I owe you an apology." Natasha opened her mouth to speak,. but Bruce raised his hand slightly, motioning for her to let him talk. " Please, can I finish speaking, then you'll have your say. Thank you, erm... I owe you an apology, that's a fact and we are so alike yet so different and I think that we both need someone to talk too."_

_Natasha swallowed slightly, surprising herself at how willing she was to go ahead with that. Her and Bruce didn't exactly have the most stable team-friendship, considering the fact that the other guy was going to kill her. The image flashed through her mind, of how she sat huddled in the corner, just like when she was little - weak and scared. __**It's the past,**__She reminded herself. "Fine. Starbucks, the one round the corner, in ten minutes - Be on time."_

"Beauty and the Beast - How _fitting._" Loki hissed at her, hatred evident in his eyes and twisted smile.

"What?" She replied slowly, in a steady tone, keeping her grip on the gun aimed at him under the table.

Loki pointed at her. "Beauty, as I am certain you are already aware and the _beast...the monster_. - Need I spell it out for you?" Natasha didn't respond, so he knew about her and Banner, that was his leverage - that's what he was going to use against her. Her grip on her gun tightened even more, causing Loki to tut at her. "Now, we both know that your useless weapon would do me no damage...besides, you need not that weapon to cause harm, do you?"

Natasha blinked several times, forcing herself to breathe correctly. She _despised _him and he was causing her nightmares and sleepless nights for the past three months, she needed to know why it was her and no one else. She had faced numerous murderous psychopaths in her past, but no one had gotten to her, yet alone _haunted _her like he did. "Why not stalk Stark? The Captain or your Brother?"

"They are nowhere near as fun as you nor do any of them have a past as _deliciously_ dark as you. Barton was very informative." He commented, his gaze never leaving her.

Natasha flinched slightly as he mentioned Barton's name. "And if you go near him again... I will kill you. I will find a way and I **will **kill you." Natasha warned him silently. _And that is __**my **__bargain you fucking bastard._ She added in her thoughts.

Loki smirked, letting out a low chuckled. "Oh, I am certain you will, the black widow. A fitting name, for all yours sins, is it not? Tell me, do you not regret your actions? The _hundreds of innocent people _who you tortured and killed. A child. You killed a child, brainwashed into killing her to get to her father. Her blood is on your hands."

Natasha couldn't speak, she felt her defensive walls breaking down, the emotions ready to run over. That's what Loki wanted -payback. For her to suffer, for her to remember everything that she fought to forget. She swallowed, trying not to slip out of the mask that she wore, the mask she was trained to wear. "**What **do you want?" She asked him shakily, her voice betraying her stoic expression.

"Feeling sentimental, are we? You tricked me... You closed the portal, you played your part now you will face the consequences. I want you to cry. The strong, fearless Black Widow will cry and _beg _me to leave her alone. I am going to break you."

Natasha glared at him, not wanting to give in to the overriding emotions. She knew his weak spot and she had to use it against him. "Not to a Frost-giant who doesn't even know who his Daddy is."

His eyes flashed dark and his fists curled, his tall frame leaning closer to her. "_You dare mock me?" _He angrily spat at her, his mouth twisting with his words.

"Yes... I do. It's the reason for everything isn't it? You _need _the attention because you are just...the outcast." She calmly replied, smiling slightly at remembering something his brother had mentioned to SHIELD. "You're the monster that parents tell their children about."

Loki smiled at her, looking vibrant as if he were enjoying what she was saying. "Oh, you are fun - this is very impressive, your responses. You seem to forget, though, that I have seen you cry after you wake up from your nightmares. The ones that I have caused, _Seen. You don't flinch when I kill you in your dreams, yet you do when I touch you, when I kiss you - Because I know how to destroy you."_ He took a deep breath when he finished talking, his smile wider than before, enjoying the look of disgust on her face.

Natasha swallowed, knowing that there was nothing she could say in reply to that, as the images of her dream flashed before her eyes. She needed him to get to the point - pitiless back and forth insults wouldn't get her anywhere." What do you want?

"You."

"Why?" She questioned.

"Because I want to break you, tear you apart... expose you."

She took a short inhale, trying to focus. "You don't scare me." She lied to him.

"You should be scared, this is just the beginning and I need to have my fun."

Natasha stood up, having enough of conversation. There was nothing more for her to do, if she contacted SHIELD they would check surveillance and see her talking to herself. That combined with what happened, they will put it down to stress and tell her to take time off - besides, this was nothing that she could not handle. She stepped towards him, slipping her gun into her pocket, leaning towards him. "So should you, if you come near me again I will end you." She whispered, standing back up.

"Natalia... Thank you for your cooperation."


	4. Chapter 4

**WEAKER DAYS.**

**Sorry for the delay - I have been super busy with work :p**

**I am really enjoying writing this as I love all of the characters and seeing Thor: The Dark World (three times now!) has been a good inspiration for Loki (Y)**

**Please do review, as these motivate me to update quicker and I know if you guys are liking this :D**

**Read, Review & Enjoy**

**CHAPTER FOUR**

"Does anybody copy?" Natasha calmly said into her earpiece, her shaky hand touching it lightly, as if it would make it work. She glanced down to the table to see him gone, she swallowed, her eyes scanning the crowds to see if she could spot him, but to no avail. He was gone. She knew fine well for a fact that the cameras wouldn't have got him, it was his intention to make her look crazy. He hadn't even gone to anyone else, just her - this was revenge.

"We copy, Miss. Romanoff." A female voice said back to her. "Is there a situation?"

"My communication line went down earlier, do you know why?" She replied coldly, starting to walk amongst the crowds, chills running up her spine.

"We have no record of any communication lines going down at all today, Miss. Maybe you switched it off by accident." The woman on the line replied back, in an equally cold tone.

Natasha smirked slightly, knowing that she wasn't popular with most of the woman that worked at SHIELD. They always presumed her attitude was that of a bitchy nature rather than introverted. "That's what I thought." Natasha replied, before ending the conversation. She sighed out loud, turning around to see if she could spot him. She growled lightly, taking out her phone and pressing dial on the button with his name on it. She waited impatiently for him to pick up, her heart starting to beat more rapidly.

"Hello?" Bruce said cautiously on the line. His curious tone was obviously due to the fact that she was ringing him, something she had never done before.

Natasha smiled slightly, feeling happy to have someone to talk to. "Can I come over, Bruce? It's... I need to come over."

"Uh... Of course, yeah." He replied slowly.

"I'll be there in ten minutes." She responded, before hanging up and picking up the pace. She pushed past the people in the crowd, ignoring the comments they made. She didn't even know how she felt - it was a mixture of anger, coldness and fear. She frowned slightly, thinking about how she could be feeling fearful. She was the black widow, people feared her. It should never be the other way round, but Loki knew exactly how to get under her skin, he knew what to say. He was a god of mischief - the fact that he was a god made things a lot harder for her. She knew she couldn't tell SHIELD - thousands of other things with solid evidence was happening, this wasn't something that she would not be able to handle. She could handle this fine, she outsmarted him once - what's once more? _He's not a challenge - a nuisance. He needs to go back to where he belongs. _She thought confidently. Natasha opened the door to the block where Bruce lived, her thoughts so occupied that she didn't even realise how quick the time had went. Running up the stairs, she tried her best to get her poker face on and look calm. She approached his door and knocked twice, not wanting it to sound urgent. He opened the door instantly, smiling slightly at her.

"Hi." She briefly said, before walking by and heading straight for the sofa. She sat down, helping herself to a glass of orange juice which was there. She gulped it down before looking over at Bruce and motioning for him to sit down next to her. He slowly walked over and then sat down, leaving a slight gap between them. She inhaled sharply, staring at her glass with such intensity, causing for a moment of awkward silence between them.

Bruce cleared his throat, before finally breaking the silence. "Okay... I'm sensing that there is something you need to discuss?"

"I don't trust anyone." Natasha said coldly, glancing at him.

"You can trust me."

She scoffed lightly, shaking her head. He had just said what she knew and what was one of the things, which were confusing her the most. "I know - that's why I'm confused, as to why I can trust you."

Bruce nodded in reply, nervously picking up a biscuit which was on the plate in front of him and taking a small bite from it. "Maybe it's because you're not used to having friends?"

"Feel the need to repeat that much, Doctor?" She challenged, raising her eyebrow at him.

Bruce smiled slightly, finishing off the biscuit. He sighed, turning slightly to look at her. "Did something happen?"

"I saw him, he was sitting down outside a cafe in the middle of the street." She said, saying it out loud was like confirming that it was real, that it was actually happening. " Others could see him but my communication line was down and he wouldn't appear on the cameras."

Bruce ran a hand over his face, trying to figure out what to say. "Did he say anything?"

"He threatened me with you."

"Me?" He repeated doubtfully, his face growing a little pale at the thought. "Wait... do you mean-"

"The other guy. If I didn't cooperate he would make sure that he... " She cleared her throat, not wanting to be reminded of that time on the hellicarrier. "He brought up my past, everything that he made Clint tell him."

"You need to accept the past, Natasha, no matter how horrendous it may have been, your past makes you who you are now."

"That's beside the point." She snapped back at him, narrowing her eyes. "Loki is **here**. He's on earth and he is not going to anybody but me. No one will believe me, I know how this works."

"So... Why tell me?" He shrugged, frowning. "How would I help?"

Natasha took out her gun, flipping it slightly in her hand, looking at it with much interest. "Do you know how to kill a god?"

He was silent for a moment, making her hold her breath for his response. Then within a second he chuckled, as if she had said something which was funny and not serious. "Maybe violence isn't the answer... Maybe you should try to compromise with him? Talk things through."

"I need to go." Natasha said slowly, standing up, looking at him with a mixture of curiosity and confusion. She didn't get how he could just think she would sit down with Loki and have a chat, as if they were old friends - as if he didn't threaten her and want to kill her.

Bruce got up with her and put his hand on her arm, causing her to pause. "You know I'm always here for you."

Natasha glanced down at his hand, before he suddenly pressed his lips against her, both of his arms snaking around her waist. Natasha took a second to get what was going on before she kneed him sharply in the groin, causing him to back off a inch from her face. He groaned and then chuckled, the eerie laughter sounding too familiar. Natasha's eyes widened as she saw Loki morph in front of her. Her blood ran cold realising that it was Loki she had been talking to - Not Bruce. It was an illusion.

"Where is he?!" She hissed at him, clutching her gun which was in her hand against his temple.

"Sleeping... In there." Natasha went to step to the side, but Loki held his hand up to stop her, a smirk on his face. " Ah...Now, we wouldn't want to awaken him..."

"This needs to end. Now." She threatened him through clenched teeth, her finger resting on the trigger. Her poked face was gone and she felt - and looked- enraged.

Loki took his hand from her waist and wrapped it around her wrist which held the gun, she looked down to see her skin turning a shade of blue and a numbing sensation causing her to let go of the gun. She shuddered as he let go and her skin turned back to normal. He sneered at her, his hand snaking around her throat and his lips resting near her ear. "Then hold on tight."


End file.
